Scuba or nah?

This picture was taken about two years ago. It was captured at some point during the three days I spent non-stop learning about and practicing scuba diving with my best friend Laurie. Laurie and I met in treatment. It was like we had known each other for years when we met. We had this unbreakable bond that I have never had with anyone before I met her. She was an incredibly special person to pretty much every person she met. She died doing what she loved the most; which was living life to the fullest. Something you should know about Laurie is that before she got sober, she overdosed three times all in a matter of three weeks so her literal goal in life was to go all out and live life [FEARLESSLY] to the fullest.

Stay tuned. My next blog post is strictly dedicated to Laurie Andrews.

I AM GOING SCUBA DIVING TOMORROW.

So, essentially I am here to prepare myself for it. And I am going to do that by telling you about my previous diving experiences. I’ll keep it short, don’t worry. I can’t read long things all in one sitting because I lose focus quickly, especially if it’s not interesting. So, I know how you might feel after reading this.

Getting scuba certified was one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life. We spent part of a day in the classroom doing the boring stuff like learning about decompression sickness, and air bubbles in your lungs, and other important shit like that. Our dive instructor was the shit. He made everything easy to understand and he cared about our safety. Not because he had to, but because he wanted to. You could tell he was passionate about ensuring that scuba diving is not only safe, but also enjoyable. After classroom work, we jumped in the pool for a fitness test. It was like ten minutes of treading water plus like five pool laps or something like that? Honestly, I was so out of shape at the time that I thought I wouldn’t get certified just because I couldn’t pass the fitness part. Turns out, it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.

We spent a whole day in the pool. I was a complete raisin at the end of the day. We did take like an hour break for lunch, but other than that we spent the whole day in the pool. From 9am to about 4 that evening. There is so much to learn when you get scuba certified. Once we got out into the open water, that was where the real freedom came. Oh, and courage.

So then we really went diving. We went out in the open water, out in the gulf, with all the sharks. I had come to terms with the fact that I was gonna get eaten by a shark and die that day. Clearly I didn’t die because I am here to tell you that we saw NO sharks. Secretly, I was disappointed.

Scuba diving comes with a freedom I have never felt before. Being under water, in a whole new world I had never fully emerged myself in was one of the first times I realized that I could have fun and be sober at the same time. It was proof that I could enjoy myself, and the company others, without putting a substance in my body to change the way I felt. I felt so free underwater. I felt invincible. I moved through some fear during that training, and came out on the other side with not just courage, but pure contentment for the moments I would find myself in.

As I prepare myself for the trip out in the water, I remind myself of that freeing feeling, and that courage I found myself having. I remind myself that I am safe, and worthy of happiness. I remind myself of Laurie and how she would want me to live my life to the fullest. I feel her presence and I know she’ll be in the water with me tomorrow. I love you Laurie.

I hope you made it through this post and if you didn’t its ok because it was mainly for me and my sanity anyways.

Peace.